A good communicator

A great communicator can sometimes be the person who listens so well that I can solve my own problems just by talking with them.
 
Not too long ago I felt the despair that accompanies anxiety.  Things just didn't feel right in my head and I couldn't shake it.  Things I normally cared about had no meaning to me and my motivations to accomplish my tasks were fogged.  I was in a daze.

I agreed to see a counselor.  He listened intently, he showed compassion and care, and he let me talk.  It was more than just giving me eye contact, he seemed relaxed, genuinely interested, not hurried or rushed, and that he cared.  I felt I could trust him and learn from him.  He asked clarifying questions, or questions that made me think and talk through the answers.  He was knowledgeable about my situation and offered small pieces of advice when the time was right, advice that once again, made me stop and think; advice that sometimes resolved my own problems and perceptions.  He never interrupted me and when he spoke, it was with a calm confidence and peace, without judging me.  While he made it clear that I could never be wrong in what I was saying because it was my opinion, he appropriately challenged my perceptions and offered possible alternative thoughts to consider. 

He showed me a great example of an effective communicator.  I never felt like he knew what he was going to say to me before I came in, but he listened well enough each week to know what I needed to hear. I think this is what Stephen Covey meant when he said that it was more important to listen to understand the other person rather than coming up with a way to reply and thinking of what you will say when they stop talking.

I think if I could learn to have the patience and ability to model some of these characteristics in my professional position, I would be a much better leader.