My Connections to Play

THE MAGICAL WORLD OF FORT BUILDING 

When I reflect upon the way I played as a child, it is not toys that come to my mind, but the wonderful world of creativity with the items that surrounded me.  I built many forts; some in the house, some in the nearby fields, some in the grape vineyards, and some (yes don't tell the construction workers) in the lot of the neighborhood that was building brand new houses.  I couldn't help myself there.  They left out all types of great stuff for fort building like 2x4's and sheets of wood of all sizes, even giant sheets of chalk for breaking off and marking out our space (as an adult I learned this was called dry wall).  My favorite places to build were when, for some unknown reason to me, giant tractors would dig caves in the ground for me and I could pretend I was a caveman.  I would fill those holes building bedrooms and kitchens and bring in dishes and supplies.  I can only imagine now what those construction workers must have thought when they showed up in the mornings to new forts built everyday, almost always in different parts of the houses or underground.  As a child, I couldn't figure out why they kept breaking them down every day.  I am only guessing now that those giant underground caves must have been for basements or crawl spaces, but I just can't remember them having anything to do with the house they were building.  All I saw was play space and all I knew was I could play outside as long as I wanted, but when the street lights came on, I had to go home for dinner and my world of outside play was over for the day.

How often are we providing children with long periods of time where they can just play with their surroundings.  Can we provide them with an environment that is safe and not nag them too much about what they are doing.  Can we let them build a fort without telling them they did it wrong, solving their problems when it doesn't work right, coming up with reason why it is not safe and they will break limb, or getting after them for the materials they choose to use - even if it was our fanciest table cloth?  Can we just choose to remember that children need time to discover and learn these things on their own.  I can contribute my creative talents and ability to solve complex problems to my mom who didn't forget that I was a child and let me play!

Relationship Reflection

This morning on the news, a story featured a young ice skater.  I was drawn into the beauty of her skating and mesmerized by her grace.  As I stood glued to the TV, my  mind filled with memories of watching ice skating with my mom.

What makes relationships strong and healthy?  Happy and meaningful memories.  

Last Friday my wonderful husband accompanied me to a gymnastics competition.  As I sat awing and gasping at the gymnasts, I couldn't help but recall the many memories from my childhood that are filled with members of my family and gymnastics.  My mother taught me to appreciate the way people can train their bodies to move.  Together we loved dancing, ice skating, gymnastics, acrobatics, and several sports.  Now when I see these, I am reminded of her and the many conversations and time we spent together watching or participating in these activities.

How do we develop and maintain positive relationships?  Continue to spend time with those people doing the things you love to do.

I have wonderful memories of time spent with my dad and siblings as well.  I accompanied him and my brothers on many camping trips, hunting excursions, and day long fishing trips.  As a family we spent time boating, hiking, exploring the outdoors, playing soccer, and playing tabletop games.  To this day, I still love to go fishing with my family.  When we get together as a family, we often spend time playing games and visiting different places.

What are the challenges to developing and maintaining relationships?  The amount of time you see one another, associate and relate to one another, and know what to do when you do get together.

As relationships are being developed, it takes some time to learn one another and discover the things you both enjoy and the things you can enjoy together.  I know when my husband went to the gymnastics meet with me, he probably wasn't extremely interested in going, but he was interested in spending time with me, and being there with me was enough.  But, I don't believe this is enough in a relationship, we must discover the things we both really enjoy and enjoy doing together.  My husband and I love visiting and touring places together, trying out new recipes and cooking together, and doing service for others.  We are learning what it will be like to be presenters together and share our knowledge and experience with others.  As I have watched my children over the years develop new friendships, they must discover what each person enjoys doing, and then spend time together doing those things.  When we begin to lose touch with people who have meant something to us and whom we have developed a relationship with, it is hard to maintain those same strong ties as you once had.  Staying in touch, is the best way to keeping those relationships alive.

Do relationships have special characteristics?  Absolutely, each one.

I was blessed with two wonderful children, each unique in their own special way.  I have learned over the years how to talk with them, how to spend time with them, and how to address their needs.  I know what things my son enjoys doing with me and what things my daughter enjoys doing with me.  I know what conversations make us comfortable and which ones are difficult to have.  Characteristics of relationships are based on the individual differences and likenesses of the parties involved.  The way I treat one relationship will not be the same as another, and that is part of individualizing my relationships in a way that they all remain positive.

How does having strong relationships help me to be a better early childhood specialist?  I learn how to form relationships with others.

Through my positive relationships, I have learned to trust others, to understand individual differences, to treat others the way they want to be treated and not according to the norm, and to recognize that each relationship is unique and meaningful to me.  As I am working with children and parents in an early childhood center, I come to know who each of them are, what they needs of their family are, and I work hard at helping them find the resources to meet those needs.  I go out of my way to acknowledge them whenever possible, to ask how things are going with them, and to remember things they have told me in the past.  Positive relationships teach me how others like to be treated and how we each can make an impact on one another.